Petra Stunt gets lost in her own home

Los Angeles, CA- Most people never have the opportunity to see, let alone live in a mansion spreading across 56,500 square-feet. Petra Stunt, the daughter of Formula One racing magnate Bernie Ecclestone, however, is the exception.

Her mansions, “The Manor”, located in the Holmby Hills of Los Angeles has 123 rooms along with a swimming pool, tennis court, skating rink, and a bowling alley- to only name a few amenities. Despite the fact Petra has the access to all these room and amenities does not necessarily mean she knows where they all are. She purchased the home in 2011 but she is still having some trouble navigating it.

Our sources claim that she called her father, Bernie and Aaron Spelling’s wife Candy last Thursday desperately trying to find the way out to the main entrance. “It was rather embarrassing,” our source claims. “She was lost in one of the countless bedroom and had no idea how to get even to the skating rink. Apparently her dad Bernie decided to hire a few guys to create an app for her so emergency phone calls to Candy Spelling can be avoided.”

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Little girl wants to become a singer to sing about drinking and partying all night

Atlanta, GA- Music is a powerful thing. It influences our mood, our feelings and even changes our lives. There are many wonderful musicians which touch our hearts with their powerful songs.

For Ellie Coleman, 5, singing is her life. Ellie means nothing but business- she may be only five but she is more than ready to be a singing sensation when she gets older. She has a lot of favorite singers she looks up to, she told me when I talked to her about musical inspirations. “I like Miley Cyrus. Keisha. Taylor Swift too although I liked her better when she was country,” she shared with me.
“What kind of songs do you like to sing? Right now it seems you are leaning more towards love songs,” I asked her.
“That’s true,” she agreed. “But that’s because my Mom chooses the songs. I think once I get older I will sing about drinking and partying. You know that Keisha verse –Drop top and playin’ our favorite CD’s, Pullin’ up to the parties, Tryna get a little bit tipsy. Or Miley singing about being in the club standing on the couch, In them Wolf Greys like it’s my house, Drinking out the bottle, I got no respect…- these are the words of great musicians,” Ellie said with her eyes sparkling. “They know what life is all about. So I will definitely try to carry on this legacy of clubbing days, poppin bottles and staying up til the break of dawn.”

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Wife annoyed by having to be “the big spoon” all the time

Austin, TX- Spooning is one of the most popular ways for couples to share some tender moments, affection and snuggles. In most cases, men tend to be the big spoons since they are the taller or more masculine partner. However, in the modern age, spooning does not necessarily have to be done with traditional roles assumed based on gender.

Lilly Phillips, 34, has been the big spoon through the entire five year marriage with Francis and as she says, “she is getting sick of it.”

She is used to being the little spoon from her previous relationships but with Francis, it was different. “He always wanted to be the little spoon. I did it for a while but I want to be hugged to you know,” she shared with us. “I like his arms around me, I feel very safe. But when I am the one spooning him and I feel so awkward because of the size difference. He is a 280-pound man who is much taller than me so hugging him does not cover much. I just wish he would be the big spoon, you know. I deserve to be the little spoon sometimes, darn it.”

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Guy at Sweet Tomatoes Doesn’t Eat All He Can Eat

West Palm Beach, FL- Employees of Sweet Tomatoes, “a buffet chain serving health-conscious American eats with from-scratch soups, salads, pastas & more,” are used to customers who walk out with their pants undone, moaning of how much food they had. It is a common sight at the “all you can eat” restaurant- but last Thursday, a normal guy walked in and had no problems walking out.

“I noticed his suspicious behavior by the salad bar already,” an employee at Sweet Tomatoes told us. “He didn’t pile on as much salad, croutons, beans etc. as he could but actually put a normal amount of food on the plate. Then, he continued his way to the soup&pasta area and took a bowl of soup, a baked potato with only a little bit of sour creme and that was it. I was shocked,” said the aforementioned employee. “He didn’t even get desert! The guy took an orange to go and he walked out like nothing happened.”

All the employees that day were utterly shocked and stayed in shock for the rest of the day. “We don’t see it happen a lot, you know. It seemed surreal.”

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Billy, 25, just barely got himself to “like” his Dad’s ZOO photos

Sarasota, FL- It is bad enough our parents know what Facebook is. It is even worse that they have befriended us and have the rare access to our public internet Facebook life. Their presence means only two things- posting embarrassing comments to our photos and postings and/or them posting embarrassing photos of themselves in a public or private space.

Billy, 25, has been friends with his Dad on Facebook for more than four years now and he has unfollowed his Dad’s post feed a long time ago. “He uses humor that is very typical for his generation, you know. The pictures he takes and the ideas he shares are from Ronald Reagan times and well, he loves the Three Stooges type of humor, you know, the one with physical farce and slapstick and I just find that incredibly dumb. All the old people he knows find it hilarious but I just can’t get myself to like any of it.”

Billy does try sometimes to like his Dad’s photos. “Well, I don’t want to be the son that doesn’t like anything on his Dad’s Facebook. Just the other day I liked his ZOO photos. He went there and took selfies with the giraffes and found it hilarious when monkeys were doing it in front of him and posted a bunch of photos of it. Like, it’s not that funny but I love him anyway. So I “liked” the album but I won’t “like” anything for a while.”

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Friends of a fat turned body-builder woman hope she will lose motivation sometime soon

Buffalo, NY- Perpetually hiding a pot belly in baggy clothes sometimes becomes so annoying that some people actually decide to do something about it. Brittany Quinn, 26, decided to get more toned after she got fed up with her jiggly body. “She started with the simple couch to 5K runs and things like that,” Leah, 25 told us about Brittany. They’ve been friends since high school. “I supported her and even did the runs with her. I knew she hated her body for years and doing something about it was definitely good.”

But Brittany Quinn didn’t stop there. She started complaining about not being toned enough. “She really changed her diet to nothing but protein shakes and lean meat and all that other super healthy stuff,” Whitney, Brittany’s best friend, noticed. “And she started to life weights. She ended up going to the gym for two hours each day.” Her Facebook was drowning with quotes like “I just want someone that will lift, cuddle and drink protein shakes with me” and had tons of pictures of her lifting heavy. “Within a few months you could notice a huge change in her body. The fat was disappearing and she was getting really toned. But she started cancelling on our movie nights because she didn’t want to be tempted by pop-corn and chips, and she spent Friday nights at the gym instead of going out and having fun.”

Within a year, she entered a body-building contest and won third place. “Of course we all went to see her to support her,” Whitney continued, “but we are all secretly hoping the old Brittany would come back. Like, she doesn’t have to be as fat as she was but we feel like she went from one extreme to another- from being really fat to really fit. Can’t she just be happy with a normal body and still go to the gym, eat healthy and still spend some time with her friends?”

Brittany was not available to comment because she was too busy lifting or die trying (to life it).

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Inspired by The Onion

the old owls tales

The Old Owls’ Tales

Much like humans find wisdom and advice in the tales of the Old Wives, animals have the Old Owl’s knowledge which is widely shared when growing up. These tales were shared with me in the past few months in relaxed, yet intimate conversations with some very lovely owls in an undisclosed location.

Illustrations can be followed on my Instagram account leahrennes (and will be posted on WordPress sometimes too) and they are a celebration of a goal I set only in August of this year and I think have achieved quite well so far.

Before August, I would draw a cow and it looked more like an elephant. After doing the 30-day challenge by Mark Kistler “You can draw in 30 days” book, I not only realized drawing is something that can be taught (and don’t necessarily rely solely upon talent) but I also gained great confidence drawing. Suddenly, I can draw images for my stories which is something I though would be never able to do. Sure, I still need to practice but I have come a long way.

“The Old Owls’ Tales” are a result of the learning process and confidence I gained in the last two months. I hope you enjoy the illustrations and don’t be shy to follow.

And as a slight preview of today’s post- bring an umbrella if you see a worried bunny- according to the Owl tales, it means it is most likely to rain.



An intern at Volkswagen actually behind the emissions scandal

Wolfsburg, Germany- In the midst of finger-pointing exchanges, it seems that the truth about who is actually behind the emissions scandal at Volkswagen is finally coming to surface. After the chief executive Winterkorn resigned “in the interest of the company” and denied any wrongdoing and not knowing anything about the “diesel dupe,” it seems that he may have been telling the truth.

Markus Schneider, 22, was hired on as an intern at Volkswagen as part of the HR team. His tasks primarily entailed bringing coffee to his boss, making copies and answering phones in a true polite manner.

But Markus wanted more; he wanted to leave his mark at Volkswagen. On his own, he came up with the “Diesel Dupe”, a device that was put in diesel engines and could detect when they were being tested, changing the performance accordingly to improve results.

“The CEO’s didn’t know about it, of course not,” Markus told us in a confidential interview. “I acted on my own. I went to the designers and manufacturers and told them that this new device is mandatory in every vehicle. As an intern, they all knew the power I had and didn’t question my orders. Within weeks, they started installing the diesel dupe. I was very proud of myself.”

The recent scandal, however, upsets Markus very much. “I was hoping to get a promotion, you know. It is a brilliant scamming technique and I fooled everyone at Volkswagen. Now, everyone is resigning and I am out of job. It definitely didn’t turn out how I wanted it to.”

Inspired by The Onion

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Local man buys a motorcycle to use it as “means of transportation”- friends&family outraged

Jacksonville, FL- Trying to avoid the summer spike in gas prices, along with some other reasons such as cheaper insurance, Mike Bukley, 31, bought a simple, 250 cc motorcycle to get around. Realizing the dangers of riding a motorcycle, he also bought a protective jacket, gloves and a helmet to keep him safe.

He expected to have some troubles on the road since he just got his riding licence, but what he did not expect was the response from his friends and family to his new bike.

“I told my buddies I got a new bike. One said that 250cc is for old ladies and the other said I shouldn’t be buying rice rockets,” Mike told us, obviously annoyed by their reaction. “My brother Dave was the worst […] He wanted to make my bike louder, and add a car radio so everyone would hear and see me riding.” His co-workers also thought he looked stupid wearing a helmet and should not be wearing one (if he wanted to get the attention from the ladies attention anyhow).

“I don’t really care, though,” Mike assured us, “if they can’t get it that a motorcycle to me is just a means of transportation getting me from place A to place B then so be it. I don’t have to overcompensate for my lack of bad-boy image and excitement in my life by buying a bike.”

Inspired by The Onion

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Depressed or sad handsome young man shirtless in jeans, sitting on floor with head in his hands

Successful young man is depressed because he is not average

Chicago, IL- He is young, determined, ridiculously good-looking and also one of the top entrepreneurs in the US. The 24 year-old Tim Mosley has always been driven by ambition to do something more in his life. “Ever since I was a kid I wanted to be successful,” Mosley shared with us as we met him in his high-rise office in Chicago downtown. “I was always learning, building things, asking questions while other kids enjoyed the playground.”

He was always the teacher’s pet and he skipped first year of college after having taken AP courses in high school. He was working two jobs while in college to save enough money to start his own business. Soon, he opened his start-up “Booxies” which is now a million dollar business.

Most people envy Tim Mosley the lifestyle he has, but Mosley has had his ups and downs. “I get depressed a lot,” he says as he looks around his enormous office with sad-puppy eyes. “People think I have it all but all my friends from elementary school are making minimum wage or a tad more and are broke all the time and I kind of envy them that. They get together and whine about it, while I just don’t fit in anymore. I often wish I would have money problems and no ambition because then at least I would have friends I could hang out with. It’s like being ambitious is a curse […] you stand out and no one can relate to you anymore.”

Inspired by The Onion

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