homes

Boring koi ponds and private theaters

I read the gossip websites. I know every celebrity home should include all/ or most items listed below (and more):

Koi poind greeting the visitors. Lagoon-style pool to jump into. Wooden beams. Ornate chandeliers. A theater. Arched doorways. Multiple fireplaces. Spa tub and mood lightning. Private elevator. A gazebo. Waterfall spa. Nine-stall barn.

I’m assuming most celebrity houses entail that. And while they might be happy to live in such overabundance, I can honestly say I would never want to live in such a home. Why? Well…..

1. If I got anything dirty, it would cost a fortune to replace

2. Too many rooms (I already get disoriented in a hotel, why would I want to get disoriented in my own home)

3. I don’t want my Mother to move in (The excuse “we don’t have enough room” would be gone out the window)

4. Higher chance of a murderer hiding in my house (more rooms= more opportunities to hide)

5. I hate being hot so there’s no way I can put that sauna in a good use

6. Presence of fountains would increase my urge to go pee

7. A private elevator would make me even lazier than I already am

8. I don’t pay enough attention to my doorway to truly appreciate the value of an arched one

9. Multiple TV Screens would be neglected as I barely watch TV anymore

And more… but, above all, I believe in being modest. I would prefer to sell the house, live in a smaller home and donate money to a good cause than to compensate for whatever lack of insecurities I am trying to hide and show off to other people by buy buying a house that should probably be a hotel in the first place. So, no, Beyonce and Taylor Swift, I don’t want your damn mansions! 😉

Picture Credit

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