The absurdities of “men caves” and other “men-only” nonsense

A friend of mine, let’s call him Dave, has been really pissing me off lately (can I say piss off on WordPress?)

Anyway, everytime we hang out with him and a bunch of friends he wants the guys and the women to hang out separately. In the same house, just different rooms. And if we play games, god forbid women should play. Because not that women are not capable of playing along, but women don’t take the games seriously enough….. which yeah, it’s just a game, Dave and just because you win at it it doesn’t make you somehow a winner in real life. Akhem.

In addition to his segregated time spending between sexes he also has a man cave. Two men caves, technically. One glorious man room filled with his workout equipment, comicbooks and pheromone-based scents (I’m guessing) and his garage crammed with motorcycles which reeks of testosterone, or whatever that scent is. The rest of the house he is in is mostly decorated by his fiancee, Lindsey.

Now, every couple has their vibe but here’s what I’ll tell you about men caves and men only time.

1. Men caves shouldn’t exist- women should compromise and not take over the whole damn house and decorate it upon her liking, it’s that simple. You’re a couple, you live together, you share things. Both parties should compromise.
2. Girls time/guys nights- they are ok every once in awhile but the reality is- if you need some time away from your spouse/bf/gf, then something isn’t right. Because I can tell you that after I come home from work at cca. 6pm and I only get to see David for a couple of hours before we both hit the hay exhausted, I don’t have any desire to spend even LESS time with him. If anything, because I only see him for those few hours I actually want to see him MORE.

So this whole men only, girls only stupidity needs to stop. If we want men and women to have 50/50 relationships, have them work as partners, then compromises have to be made.

Because guess what, your partner is your team.

You both live in the house. You can both ride the motorcycle. You can both read comic books. You can both BBQ in the back. You can both fix the sink together. You can both wear boots and know how to use a jack. You can both play sports… etc. It’s common sense, Dave.

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Five different Titanic love stories

I’ve probably seen Titanic too many times. So have you. Don’t deny it. We’ve all sobbed, cursing the guy who didn’t spot the iceberg on time and blamed the vain, fame-seeking captain. We’ve all cried our eyes out when Rose was letting go of Jack, and felt a sense of strength and hope when she blew on that high-pitched whistle to alert people she was still alive.

I watch Titanic every so often; the story, as cheesy as it is, still appeals to me. It is the good kind of romance, the good kind of passion and the good kind of how something changes your life forever. However, I noticed that as I age, so does the way I view the love story changes.

AGE

15-ish- As any teen, I above all believed in love. The obsession they felt for each other, how they secretly met up and stole kisses and enamored glances, how they lied about Rose’s slip. It was more than romantic, it was what life was all about. Finding that one person… He was there to save her, and he ultimately saved her in the end. Love conquers all, and heartbroken Rose will forever be devoted to him, despite him laying at the bottom of the ocean. Oh, and I got a little embarrassed by the sex scene.

19ish- Starting college in my real life, I wondered how did Rose know he was the one. I had yet to meet someone so special that I would run away with and leave everything behind. The question became how can I meet the one? Is Jake the one because he is the one or because he is the only one that turns her world inside out and based on that she thinks he is the one?

24ish-  What will they do when the passion fades away? Is Rose really equipped to survive in Jack’s world? I, for one, would not leave her world just so I could wear those beautiful dresses. OK, OK, just kidding. I get it that she’s crazy in love, but having had a guy or two at that point I learned passion is not the same as love.

28ish- Marrying a rich guy who seems to want to make her happy doesn’t sound so bad. He is not even that horrendously bad-looking. He could provide for her if only she accepted him. Aren’t arranged marriages known to be very successful? People learn how to love one another and Rose should probably learn how to love the rich guy. Instead, she is messing around with the “artist” who can kind of provide for himself but could never provide for her…. And omg, is there really a future with someone who is an artist? Can’t he get a real job?

32ish- I miss the simple view of their love that I had when I was 15. Even if it was just passion and reckless thinking, for them at the time it felt like it was real. More real than imaginable. When was the last time I met somebody so special I wanted to run away with them? When was the last time I looked at something with pink, and not realistic glasses?

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