CHICAGO- After having received many complaints from their users about the vast amount of baby pictures suddenly appearing in their news feed, Facebook decided to investigate the matter further after the initial suspicion of a complicated computer glitch.
“From what we have been able to find out is that newborn babies have indeed developed a take over scheme,” declared Mark Zuckerberg, Chairman and Chief Executive of Facebook, at an impromptu press conference. “Investigation showed that parents, enamored with the babies cuteness, were not willingly posting pictures of their new-born babies smiling, pooping, sleeping or even eating carrots- it was all a deliberate scheme plotted by these babies who wanted to create Facebook accounts, but were not old enough yet to create one.” Most parents with newborns have had problems with the account takeovers. “It appears that some accounts are more hijacked than others,” stated Zuckerberg, “as some babies even took over the profile pictures posing under their parents names.”
Lara, an avid Facebook user, was thrilled to hear the results of the investigation. “I thought it was rather odd that my friend Jessica, who also recently had a child, kept posting pictures of her baby every hour. From the aforementioned baby being washed, getting a new bib to the baby cuddling with their dog, baby playing with Grandma, baby smiling for the first time…. I thought it was odd. I am glad Facebook came to the bottom of this.”
(Inspired by The Onion)